I cried 3 times the day I got my braces
My dad might as well be toothless--his teeth are in relatively terrible shape, he has gum disease, and his teeth are crooked. According to our dentist, his teeth are a 9/10 difficulty to fix. That is why he has fixated onto my teeth. For context, I've had two root canals for unknown reasons..they just died. I remember crying and rolling on the floor, desperately trying to cool the pain with ice cubes and listerine, so much that the listerine burnt my tongue. Now, when I'm the big age of 17, he wants me to get braces. My top row of teeth are completely fine--there is no medical reason behind getting braces. There is ONE tooth that is slightly crooked and overlapping. I thought I might as well make him happy and I got the braces this morning.
I cried immediately after, big fat tears dripping down my cheeks.I felt irritated from the soft aching in my teeth and humiliated. I thought I felt happy the rest of the day, but all I can think about now is the intense insecurity I feel about even smiling. As I talked to the various store associates from The Avenue, I found myself constantly analyzing whether they were looking at my teeth ore not. the alternative was invisalign, but as a student, it is simply not practical.I thought I could convince myself that they looked cool, but I feel so fucking irritated with them on.
It is such a privileged insecurity, considering the cost of cosmetic braces. As I'm now currently crying writing this article, I feel extremely privileged+spoiled about even complaining about having braces and the resources to have them. I just don't know why I feel so insecure? is it even insecurity, or am I just irritated by having such a burden because of someone else? However, this 'someone else' is my father. you'd think the least I can do is put on braces and fix this damn crooked tooth to make him happy.Maybe I am simply extremely spoiled.